Friday, November 23, 2018

Friday funny....Batman told Black Canary it was a mistake to get The Team a swear jar

via Young Justice Tumblr Page...

“They’re children, Bruce!” She had said. “They shouldn’t be swearing this much! And, since you aren’t doing anything about it, I will!”

The swear jar appeared in The Cave the following morning. Conner was the first to donate to it when he promptly asked “What the fuck is that?” right upon seeing it. By the end of the week, the swear jar was filled with dollars contributed by several members of The Team.

The main donors to the swear jar were Artemis, Conner, and Arsenal. The combined rest of The Team donated roughly an equal amount to just those three alone. The Good Noodles, namely Kaldur, M’gann, and Karen, were the ones who were always on patrol, watching out for swearers and making sure they paid the price for it. For a short while, the Cave had become a virtually swear-free environment. Black Canary was feeling vindicated. She could finally say to Batman “I told you so!”

She had no idea what she was in for.

It all started going sideways when Bart Allen, Futureboy Extraordinaire, all of a sudden uttered the word “Snarkdrag!” Nobody knew what that word meant, but they saw Bart donate a dollar to the swear jar immediately after saying it. “What?” Bart said in response to all the strange looks he was getting. “You guys don’t say Snarkdrag?” Another dollar. “That’s, like, the F-word from my time!”

The Team’s members broke out into wicked grins. Future swears… A whole new arsenal was at their disposal now. As several members of The Team surrounded Bart and had him write down a whole list of swears from the future, Black Canary bit her lip nervously in anticipation of the oncoming storm.

With a whole new array of swears to use, the swear jar was filling to the top daily. Soon, it wasn’t just one dollar bills being dropped into the jar, but also fives and tens after some of The Team’s more creative and vulgar members started combining swear words. Once, a twenty was even dropped in by master wordsmith, Dick Grayson, who had managed to combine practically all of Bart’s future swears together into one long, foul word.

Then the tabs started.

It was a rainy afternoon in the Cave, and La’gaan had just lost a bought of holographic air hockey, causing him to spout off a loud, hearty “FUCK!” However, upon checking his wallet, he found that he was fresh out of cash, so instead he just said “Put it on my tab.” The Team’s wicked grins returned. They could now owe swear money without paying it off right after, which was quite a blessing seeing how most of them were teenagers who never had any money anyways. When Black Canary Zeta’d to the Cave the following week, she had hoped to find the swear jar full, but instead found several incredibly long bills written out to certain members of The Team taped to the fridge. She had begun to fear the worst.

Then the day came when Artemis “Swearmaster” Crock put an end to the swear jar once and for all.

The Team watched with baited breath as Artemis confidently sauntered up to the swear jar. She had seen enough of this. The swear jar was bleeding her teammates dry, and most of their tabs were now so large that they were becoming impossible to pay. She had prepared a speech reminiscent of the one from Braveheart beforehand, but instead chose to let her actions speak for her.
Artemis pulled out a single bill. Was it a ten? A twenty?? A fifty??? No. Artemis Crock proceeded to drop a 100 dollar bill into the jar, took a deep breath, and then let loose with everything she had. Children in Happy Harbor suddenly began weeping for no apparent reason, birds fell from the sky, nearby sea creatures bubbled up to the surface dead, and several nuns in the vicinity of the Cave spontaneously combusted. Artemis’ master swear had a literal body count.
When she was done, several of her teammates bowed down to her, unworthy of her presence, M’gann had passed out during the course of her best friend’s tirade, even Dick Grayson, architect of the dismantlement of the English language, had to admit that he could never have uttered a swear so long and incredibly vulgar as the one Artemis had just spouted off. The jar was taken out of the Cave by the end of the day. On her way back to the Watchtower to throw the jar away for good, Black Canary ran into Batman, who proceeded to drop a single dollar in the jar and say to her face “I fucking told you so.”

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